If I am honest, I have to say that I doubt, a lot. I would love to be known as a person who weathers the storms of life with poise and unshakeable faith that God is in control. This is not true of me though. I am aware of my sometimes constant state of doubt in several things at once! Is God really good? Is there hope? Does God have plan for my life? Can I rely on Him to sustain me?
I spent a long time believing the lie that because of my doubts, I was unable to become a "good Christian". I have slowly come to see how this mindset is all wrong. I think this quote from Alister McGrath sums things up nicely.
"Doubt is natural within faith. It comes because of our human weakness and frailty… Unbelief is the decision to live your life as if there is no God. It is a deliberate decision to reject Jesus Christ and all that he stands for. But doubt is something quite different. Doubt arises within the context the faith. It is a wistful longing to be sure of the things in which we trust. But it is not and need not be a problem." Alister McGrath
Doubt does not hinder us. It is the mechanism that makes our faith real. Not blind and unthinking but complicated and woven within our walk with Christ. As we heard in these week's message, faith is about putting our trust in a relationship with Jesus. It is not a water line we are trying to meet. True faith exists with doubt. To see the world and ask God, "Why?" but in the same breath, just as Jesus did, "Not my will but yours."
This is how doubt can bolster our faith. When we do not allow it to turn into despair and unbelief. When we recognize our doubts and lack of faith and can turn to Jesus and ask Him to "help me with my unbelief". We look for the coming of The Messiah during this time of Advent. It is a time that symbolizes the longing for justice and salvation. I want spirit of Advent to seep into my life for not just these 5 weeks but for my entire life. To wait and look for Jesus constantly. I will always have doubts in the "Kingdom of already but not yet" but I can hold on to faith through and with my doubts. I can wrestle with God and by that God starts to perfect my faith in Him and Him alone.