Matthew 5:31-32 • Jesus & Marriage
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Matthew 5:31-32 - 31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 - 1 If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, 2 and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4 then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.
Something Indecent - erwat dābār
Divine Accommodation = Concession
Mishnah Giṭṭin 9:10 - The House of Shammai say, “A man should divorce his wife only because he has found grounds for it in unchastity, “since it is said, Because he has found in her indecency in anything (Dt. 24: 1).” And the House of Hillel say, “Even if she spoiled his dish, “since it is said, Because he has found in her indecency in anything.” Rabbi Aqiba says, “Even if he found someone else prettier than she, “since it is said, And it shall be if she find no favor in his eyes (Dt. 24: 1).”
Matthew 19:3-6 - 3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Divine math (1+1=1)
Matthew 19:7-12 - 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
What marriage cannot survive is a hard heart.
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Each Sunday we come together we offer an open invitation into the way of Jesus. An invitation to enter into sacred rhythms - to draw near to God through singing, giving, learning, and praying.
As a community that desires renewal in Des Moines as it is in Heaven, we recognize that we cannot offer what we ourselves do not have. We cannot lead where we ourselves have not been led; in turn, these questions aim at reflection. Reflecting on God’s word and making space for his leadership.
After watching or listening consider the following discussion questions as a large group or in groups of three to four:
What stood out from the teaching?
How would you articulate Jesus’ vision for marriage? Does it differ from what we heard in the teaching? If so, what are those distinctions?
How can the church (generally) and this church (specifically) cultivate a greater value for covenant faithfulness?
What stories/scripts have we believed about marriage and divorce in the church that we would do well to reimagine?
What might it look like in a community to receive marriage as a gift given by God without idolizing marriage?